PSA: Energy Vampires
Apr. 25th, 2009 03:14 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
drewkitty(STRETCH)
The drewkitty is going to lecture on a subject he knows well. More can be found in several excellent books, especially Energy Vampires [Amazon link]
I am leaving it completely unlocked, however, as there is nothing that could potentially compromise the privacy of others. I feel morally compelled to make this post, despite the near certainty of drama, because to fail to do so would be to watch others die without even trying to make a difference.
I am not going to talk about the morality, ethics or rightness of either energy vampires or those who choose to associate with them. I am not going to talk about the consent issues that any energy practitioner needs to consider when working with the energy of others. I am especially not going to talk about the chaos, drama and brokenness that can result from unguarded contacts with energy vampires.
It is worth noting carefully that in any long term relationship, and especially in family relations (conventional or nontraditional) that imbalance of energy transfer is likely to occur. If the energy is too imbalanced or taken inappropriately (as can happen with a parent cannibalizing their children, elder abuse, severe mental disorders, or severely dependent children or adults), the results can be devastating for all parties ESPECIALLY INCLUDING THE ENERGY VAMPIRE.
I AM going to talk about a very unpleasant fact of life.
A very needy person (or "energy vampire" whether voluntary or involuntary) can take down several people with them. They can exhaust unto death, quite literally, a primary partner.
The answer is NOT to pour energy into them. They can't use it constructively. Instead of pouring water on a fire, you're pouring GASOLINE on a fire!
The answer is for all deeply involved parties including the energy vampire to sit down and negotiate effective boundaries, consciously looking for additional energy sources while teaching the energy vampire control over their talents, ways to obtain energy without burdening others, and healing the blockages that interfere with the self-energy generation that all healthy people have. An uneducated energy vampire is dangerous to others but also to themselves.
Visualization work is very powerful for this purpose, but any boundary drawing technique can be made to work.
Literally and by analogy, in the care of a very ill person, the same issues must be forthrightly confronted. The concept of 'spoons' is very powerful here. When the ill person spends spoons, they are not only spending their own spoons, but those of their partner. Sadly, it is not a matter of educating the ill person how to manage their energy draw, but how to best play out and enjoy what they still have without overtasking others, using every trick and tactic to build energy and regain and retain spoons.
Skill makes up for energy. This is a normal part of the aging process. An old man can chop firewood better than a young man, despite the fact that his muscles are far weaker, because he can more efficiently use the energy he has left.
MOST IMPORTANT: in the long term, no seriously deficient person can be carried by the life energies of another. The universe exacts a heavy toll for trying, up to and including major illness leading ultimately to death.
It is not uncommon for one member of an elderly married couple to die, and the other to shortly follow. This is related to the energy interdependence. Some part of this is the natural processes of life. However, a large piece of it is how we go about isolating our elderly from the healthy energy of our mainstream lives.
I am not speaking hypothetically or in parable. I am being as literal as I know how. BT, DT, burned the T-shirt.
In all sincerity, Blessed Be.
Also see this link: http://www.altmd.com/Specialists/Colleen-Canney/Blog/Dealing-with-Energy-Vampires
(CLIMBING A TALL TREE)
The drewkitty is going to lecture on a subject he knows well. More can be found in several excellent books, especially Energy Vampires [Amazon link]
I am leaving it completely unlocked, however, as there is nothing that could potentially compromise the privacy of others. I feel morally compelled to make this post, despite the near certainty of drama, because to fail to do so would be to watch others die without even trying to make a difference.
I am not going to talk about the morality, ethics or rightness of either energy vampires or those who choose to associate with them. I am not going to talk about the consent issues that any energy practitioner needs to consider when working with the energy of others. I am especially not going to talk about the chaos, drama and brokenness that can result from unguarded contacts with energy vampires.
It is worth noting carefully that in any long term relationship, and especially in family relations (conventional or nontraditional) that imbalance of energy transfer is likely to occur. If the energy is too imbalanced or taken inappropriately (as can happen with a parent cannibalizing their children, elder abuse, severe mental disorders, or severely dependent children or adults), the results can be devastating for all parties ESPECIALLY INCLUDING THE ENERGY VAMPIRE.
I AM going to talk about a very unpleasant fact of life.
A very needy person (or "energy vampire" whether voluntary or involuntary) can take down several people with them. They can exhaust unto death, quite literally, a primary partner.
The answer is NOT to pour energy into them. They can't use it constructively. Instead of pouring water on a fire, you're pouring GASOLINE on a fire!
The answer is for all deeply involved parties including the energy vampire to sit down and negotiate effective boundaries, consciously looking for additional energy sources while teaching the energy vampire control over their talents, ways to obtain energy without burdening others, and healing the blockages that interfere with the self-energy generation that all healthy people have. An uneducated energy vampire is dangerous to others but also to themselves.
Visualization work is very powerful for this purpose, but any boundary drawing technique can be made to work.
Literally and by analogy, in the care of a very ill person, the same issues must be forthrightly confronted. The concept of 'spoons' is very powerful here. When the ill person spends spoons, they are not only spending their own spoons, but those of their partner. Sadly, it is not a matter of educating the ill person how to manage their energy draw, but how to best play out and enjoy what they still have without overtasking others, using every trick and tactic to build energy and regain and retain spoons.
Skill makes up for energy. This is a normal part of the aging process. An old man can chop firewood better than a young man, despite the fact that his muscles are far weaker, because he can more efficiently use the energy he has left.
MOST IMPORTANT: in the long term, no seriously deficient person can be carried by the life energies of another. The universe exacts a heavy toll for trying, up to and including major illness leading ultimately to death.
It is not uncommon for one member of an elderly married couple to die, and the other to shortly follow. This is related to the energy interdependence. Some part of this is the natural processes of life. However, a large piece of it is how we go about isolating our elderly from the healthy energy of our mainstream lives.
I am not speaking hypothetically or in parable. I am being as literal as I know how. BT, DT, burned the T-shirt.
In all sincerity, Blessed Be.
Also see this link: http://www.altmd.com/Specialists/Colleen-Canney/Blog/Dealing-with-Energy-Vampires
(CLIMBING A TALL TREE)
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2009-04-27 06:30 pm (UTC)