(no subject)
Aug. 18th, 2008 01:20 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
drewkittyThis is a rant. It may be not directed at you. Then again, it may be.
1) Drewkitty is an a$$h0l3.
I concur. He is. Your point?
2) I have an issue with drewkitty.
If you have an issue with me, TALK TO ME. Do NOT talk to other people instead of talking to me. Word gets around.
3) I'm afraid to talk to drewkitty.
I have the tendency to drip large chunks of honesty from my mouth. I have neither time nor leisure to do otherwise. If you fear this, perhaps we should not be talking. This is why a kind Goddess invented E-mail. (God clearly invented Usenet; see "Talmud.")
4) XXXX is a waste of drewkitty's time.
That may be true. That may not be true. I am the ONLY person who gets to make that decision and I am held accountable for that decision in my life. Unless you are in that category (which includes bosses, relationship partners and others I have made substantial commitments to), you may talk to me about it but don't expect me to bow to your wishes.
5) Person X is a waste of drewkitty's time.
That is subtle and nasty. Few people are a waste of time. The spark of divinity exists in all of us, however damaged they may be. I am the only judge on this point.
I also have strong emotional attachments to certain people. The reason is not always obvious. You can ask but I may not answer in as much detail as you might like.
6) Situation X is a waste of drewkitty's time.
Phrased more accurately, this is a criticism of my decision-making or a misunderstanding of my priorities.
The solution is to talk about it with me. Not with others. See #2.
7) "I only want what is best for the drewkitty."
Go control someone else.
8) "What are drewkitty's priorities?"
Good question. Live up to my commitments, do good* in the world, live by the Rede ("an ye harm none do as ye will"), develop my knowledge and skills, self improvement, and enjoy large but healthy chunks of intellectual, social and intimate pleasure. * subject to definitions.
Not a priority: kids (either mine or someone else's), seeking general social approval (as distinct from appropriate behavior in public), avoiding confrontations, furthering the cause of capitalism in general or Republicans in particular, and so on.
9) "Drewkitty is angry with me. Why?"
Well, it could be general frustration leaking out. If so, my bad and I'm sorry.
It could also be because you failed in a commitment that you made, or deliberately and knowingly crossed negotiated boundaries, lied to me, or some combination of the above.
Anger is a secondary emotion that often traces back to fear or jealousy. I consider the latter unhealthy and a sign of immaturity.
If I have to be afraid on a constant basis of someone not keeping their word, or lying to me, or disregarding clear and consistent boundaries, something is VERY WRONG with that relationship.
Mew.
1) Drewkitty is an a$$h0l3.
I concur. He is. Your point?
2) I have an issue with drewkitty.
If you have an issue with me, TALK TO ME. Do NOT talk to other people instead of talking to me. Word gets around.
3) I'm afraid to talk to drewkitty.
I have the tendency to drip large chunks of honesty from my mouth. I have neither time nor leisure to do otherwise. If you fear this, perhaps we should not be talking. This is why a kind Goddess invented E-mail. (God clearly invented Usenet; see "Talmud.")
4) XXXX is a waste of drewkitty's time.
That may be true. That may not be true. I am the ONLY person who gets to make that decision and I am held accountable for that decision in my life. Unless you are in that category (which includes bosses, relationship partners and others I have made substantial commitments to), you may talk to me about it but don't expect me to bow to your wishes.
5) Person X is a waste of drewkitty's time.
That is subtle and nasty. Few people are a waste of time. The spark of divinity exists in all of us, however damaged they may be. I am the only judge on this point.
I also have strong emotional attachments to certain people. The reason is not always obvious. You can ask but I may not answer in as much detail as you might like.
6) Situation X is a waste of drewkitty's time.
Phrased more accurately, this is a criticism of my decision-making or a misunderstanding of my priorities.
The solution is to talk about it with me. Not with others. See #2.
7) "I only want what is best for the drewkitty."
Go control someone else.
8) "What are drewkitty's priorities?"
Good question. Live up to my commitments, do good* in the world, live by the Rede ("an ye harm none do as ye will"), develop my knowledge and skills, self improvement, and enjoy large but healthy chunks of intellectual, social and intimate pleasure. * subject to definitions.
Not a priority: kids (either mine or someone else's), seeking general social approval (as distinct from appropriate behavior in public), avoiding confrontations, furthering the cause of capitalism in general or Republicans in particular, and so on.
9) "Drewkitty is angry with me. Why?"
Well, it could be general frustration leaking out. If so, my bad and I'm sorry.
It could also be because you failed in a commitment that you made, or deliberately and knowingly crossed negotiated boundaries, lied to me, or some combination of the above.
Anger is a secondary emotion that often traces back to fear or jealousy. I consider the latter unhealthy and a sign of immaturity.
If I have to be afraid on a constant basis of someone not keeping their word, or lying to me, or disregarding clear and consistent boundaries, something is VERY WRONG with that relationship.
Mew.
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no subject
Date: 2008-08-18 11:59 pm (UTC)