drewkitty

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. . . it's about Virginia Tech . . . last chance . . . no complaints . . .
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Hokay, here we go. These are highly offensive.

Q. Why should anyone care about that crazed loner in the corner?
A. I can think of 32 reasons, all of them at Virginia Tech.

Q. What did Cho feel when he shot so many students?
A. Recoil.

Q. What is the difference between a major network news organization and a bunch of ratings-chasing money grubbers who don't care how many people they hurt?
A. CNN knows that it isn't MSNBC. MSNBC doesn't know that they're not a major network news organization.

Q. Why did Cho carry a Glock and a .22?
A. One for the men, the other for the ladies.

Q. Why was there a two hour delay in police response to the VT shootings?
A1. Kept expecting Jack from "24" to show up and save the day.
A2. Had to put down the donuts.
A3. Couldn't find the classroom.
A4. Not trained for that sort of thing . . .

Q. Why is YouTube so pissed about the Cho videos?
A. Because he mailed them instead of uploading like a sane college student.

Q. What do you get when you Google Virginia Tech?
A. A free psych evaluation.

Q. How can you get a degree from V.T. without actually graduating?
A. Arrange to get shot.

Q. What is the difference between V.T. and Iraq?
A. The shooting stops occasionally in Iraq.

Q. What did the police say to the student who followed them into danger taking videos on his cell phone?

A1. This is not the Rodney King beating, scram!
A2. Do you have a good camera angle?
A3. [[Action pose.]]
A4. Don't forget to get a waiver for the rights.
A5. You can aim? Here, hold my M-16.

Q. What did a woman say to Cho after a night of hot sex?
A1. What night? What hot sex? What woman?
A2. Will you please untie me now?
A3. Where is that Mercedes you said you were going to buy me?
A4. Do all Koreans have small wangs, or it is it just you?
A5. Mmmph. Mmmph! Mmmphhhhh!!

Q. What is the creepiest part of having Cho as a dorm mate?
A1. Death threats in the shower.
A2. Cheering him on after he murders the jerk R.A.
A3. Seeing him jacking off to Marilyn Manson.
A4. Finding expended rounds in the trash can.
A5. Learning that he speaks fluent English . . . just not to you.
A6. Having to say for the rest of your life, "Yeah, I knew that guy. Lived with him for a bit."

Q. What are some advantages of being Cho's girlfriend?
A1. Residuals for the movie rights.
A2. Premature ejaculator.
A3. All that practice stroking triggers.
A4. Free counseling and restraining orders for the rest of your life.
A5. Not having to meet his mom.

Q. Why didn't the Korean government apologize for Cho?
A. Why didn't the American government apologize for Bush?

Q. What is the new V.T. mascot?
A. The Mighty Ducks. (and cover . . .)

Q. . . . the new V.T. sweater?
A. Kevlar.

Q. . . . the new V.T. basketball team?
A. Active Shooters.

Q. . . . hockey team?
A. Active Shooters.

Q. . . . police department?
A. Student Weapons / Armaments Testing. (SWAT)

Q. Why is Kent State thrilled about the V.T. massacre?
A. At Kent State, more shooters killed fewer students.

Q. What can be done to prevent the next massacre?
A. Require a license to purchase chain and a padlock; gasoline; any of a dozen household chemicals; or to take a chemistry class.

Q. What was Cho's psychologist thinking?
A. This guy should run for Attorney General.

Q. When will it stop being too soon to tell V.T. jokes?
A. When NASA _finally_ gets seven up.