meditations on the warrior ethic

[drewkitty]

I read an interesting article on this, linked here.

To quote from the end of the article, with particular attention to the part I placed in bold.

"Wherever I go,
everyone is a little bit safer because I am there.
Wherever I am,
anyone in need has a friend.
When I return home,
everyone is happy I am there.
“It’s a better life!”"

Protective services, emergency workers and soldiers (hereafter 'warriors') can't help but bring a lot of 'stuff' home with them. Herewith is an exploration of some of that 'stuff' and what can and should be done with it.

A warrior should protect his loved ones first. This is obvious.

What is less obvious, and darker, is that a warrior must also protect his loved ones from . . . himself.

It is no secret that warriors have a high divorce rate and a high suicide rate. Being a veteran, to society's shame, actually makes it more likely that one will someday end up homeless.

1) Some 'stuff' is simply the negative energy that piles up in dealing with upset, angry or vicious people. Depending on one's religious and/or spiritual practices, this has to be dealt with somehow. Grounding, prayer, meditation, exercise . . . but piling it up and taking it home with you is just like taking a patient, a prisoner or a combative subject to dinner with your family. This can be short term, a day's work, or long term as in months and years, at home or far away. If there is just too much, help is needed -- and there is no shame in asking for that help when it is needed. Be careful of burdening your loved ones with too much; they may love a warrior, this does not make them warriors.

2) The real 'stuff' is the tools of the trade: equipment, weapons, uniforms. These should be kept properly secured, remembering that they may be needed quickly either on or off duty. Tragedy can strike when this is not followed. Licensing, training and certification is not substitute for firearms and other weapons safety. All the protective professions handle blades.

3) Cognitive 'stuff' is real too. As important however are the ideas, skills and concepts that are essential lifesavers on the job, but less helpful in the home setting. Just as one should not wave around a handgun in the living room, one should not use interrogation techniques on one's family -- especially one's children. The horrors of drugs might not need a paramedic's graphic illustration to a preteen son using the junkie-of-the-week. The intimacy between warrior and warrior's spouse is no place for repetitive questioning.

The author of Verbal Judo admits in the title book that he used Verbal Karate on his family, to warn others against the same.

An ethical warrior who uses unkind words with loved ones should feel shame, regret and the strong desire to treat his loved ones better than that. Then he should make amends for not only past behavior, but with and in future behavior. If he keeps doing wrong, he has a problem and he needs help.

4) The other 'baggage' of the protective professions is knowing some of The Things Man Was Not Meant To Know. The wreckage of bodies can be ugly, but the wreckage of souls - both oppressor and oppressed - much more so. The special knowledge should not be inflicted on those who do not need it for a worthy purpose. What do the weight of a head, why you wince at the smell of barbecue, the self-sabotage of the frequent victim and the vicious rationalizations of the evil have in common? They are things to share with your fellow Warriors as you need to, and allow those who do not need the knowledge to be safer for it.

5) The last piece of stuff I want to talk about here is the siren song of temptation. The analogy of the wolf, the sheepdog and the sheep is often used. One danger of being a sheepdog is that it is so tempting to be a wolf, especially when one fights with wolves and is irritated by the incessant BAAAing of the sheep, as amplified by the media.

A Cherokee tale relates the fight between good and evil that is waged in the heart of every person, but especially every warrior.

"Which wolf will win?" the child asked. The elder replied, "The one you feed."

The evil wolf is fed by what warriors have to see and do and suffer. The temptation to give in to the easy way, the unethical way, the corrupt way is one that Warriors can and do resist.

When one's life is no longer at risk and one is tired and sore from the 'wars,' the last thing one wants to do sometimes is get up and feed the good wolf -- spend loving time with the family, read or meditate or pray, train, talk with peers, exercise, do chores to support spouse and family or volunteer work for the community. However these positive things strengthen you and replenish the reservoir drawn low by the demands of Warriordom.

In a world of conflict, remembering not only how to be peaceful but why to put in the work is important.

Thoughts?