discussion of victimhood, responsibility and fear (triggering)

[drewkitty]

Valuable links for what is starting to be called RapeFail 2010:

"Why didn't you call the PD?" Why that doesn't always work.

"Personal Responsibility" Interpreted as victim blaming and aggressively flamed.

"Silence Is Not Consent." Amen.

"Uncomfortable To Empowered." A statement of pride.

One particular comment struck me, (caps in original):

"It is WRONG TO MAKE PEOPLE AFRAID, SCARED, OR TO FEEL UNSAFE."

I vehemently disagree on moral and ethical grounds. Fear has a place. Lack of safety does too.

It is OK to make a violent criminal afraid to carry through his planned attack, for fear of arrest or of physical injury or severe disabling injury or even his own violent and immediate death.

It is OK to make a potential rapist scared of the consequences, and thus refrain.

It is OK to make The Creepy Guy feel unsafe about not keeping his hands to himself, and learn something as a result.

I want those who would victimize the helpless to feel fear. I want their bowels to water and their underwear stained with shit. I want them to cut loose with warm pee down their leg. I want them to shiver, to shudder and their teeth to chatter as they quail.

Fear has a place -- not for the weak to fear the strong, but for the strong to fear doing wrong.

Fear the righteous and proper wrath of the vast majority of people who are NOT violent criminals, who are NOT rapists and who are NOT The Creepy Guy. Fear shunning, fear social ostracism, fear being talked about. Fear the conversations that end when you walk up and the bald instruction to GO AWAY. Fear being called out for misconduct and for disrespect. Fear the hand on the shoulder, the policeman's frisk, the identity check, the cold kiss of the handcuffs on the wrists. The court appearances. The attorneys and the psychologists. The booking, the fingerprinting, the jail and the incarceration. The look in people's eyes when they find out who and what you are. The cold, calculating glances from the larger predators for whom you are the fresh meat.

Asshats, be terrified for your very lives and souls if a person ever, EVER says "No" or even nothing and you inflict sex on them as if they had said "Yes," or if you have sex with a drunk person you just met, or a distraught or mentally incompetent or otherwise vulnerable person, or a child. Once you cross that line, you go from "clueless" to "evil" and it will go very, very hard with you.

Disclaimer: I am a pagan. I believe in the Threefold Rule. I believe as surely as I believe in the sun rising in the east and setting in the west that those who commit evil acts will be brutally and viciously punished. I also believe in the rule of law, which is why I am forbidden to inflict such punishment myself in violation of the law. None of the above should be interpreted as a threat to any specific person or person(s).

Discomfort is an opportunity for growth. But there is a place for every feeling under heaven. Fear is what the Bad Guys should feel. A cold, calculating rage is what the Good Guys should feel, oh so very rarely, and only for the Bad Guys who can only be stopped by force.