ETOH

Ok, kids. Last chance.

If you're going to drink:

-- be of age
-- don't drink to excess
-- have friends who won't dump you head first in the bathroom stall
-- don't take something OTHER than alcohol
-- space out your drinks to enjoy your buzz
-- drink as much water as you do booze
-- avoid venues where the women's restroom is the same size as the men's (it should be 50% larger, or the venue will suck)
-- taste the liquor
-- don't get hammered, it's for wussies

. . . and last but not least . . .

The nice First Responders and EMTs are trying to keep you from choking on your own vomit, dying of the self-inflicted head injury, and/or get you some water before you pass out from having nothing to eat or drink for a day and then dancing for six hours.

Please don't hit us. Or each other. Mmm'kay?